There Is a God: Brett Favre "Drama" Finally Ends

After a month of watching the media collectively stroke Brett Favre 24 hours a day, I was just happy to see Favre end up somewhere... anywhere. It has been a month of non-stop Favre coverage on the "World Wide Leader in Favre Coverage" (aka ESPN), including his own ticker category, monopolization of entire episodes of NFL Live and Sportcenter and commentary from people that don't play football, don't know Favre and simply should not be commenting in the first place.

Normally, in the month leading into the NFL regular season opener, I would watch anything and everything football related, like NFL Live, to get ready for the season. Normally, I would read a favorite site of mine every day to read about training camp battles, key injuries, and who got arrested for what. Not this year. Everything has been about Favre and all the "he said, she said" bullshit between him and the Packers. Even if there are other storylines going on in the NFL (which I know there are), you have to filter through all the Favre-related content to find them, because Favre always comes first. Suffice it to say, my excitement for this season has been tempered.

I was especially excited about the Vikings this season, who look like a very good football team, that could make some serious noise this season. Then, we started to hear about all these rumors that Favre wants play for Minnesota and that the Packers are considering trading him to the Vikings. That was just too much to take. If he would have come to Minnesota, I would not have been in any way interested in the Vikings' season. People were talking about the Vikings winning the SuperBowl with Favre at the helm. I would rather go 0-16 without Favre than win the SuperBowl with him. Now, that sounds crazy, right? Because the ultimate goal is to win the SuperBowl. But if the Vikings won the SuperBowl with Favre leading them, it would be tainted. The media (not to mention all Packer fans) would say that Favre won the SuperBowl for the Vikings. He would be credited with the victory. He would be the sole reason the Vikings won the SuperBowl. I couldn't handle that. I wouldn't be worth it.

Finally, we know that Favre will not be wearing a purple jersey this year and I couldn't be happier. After all his crying and bitching and manipulating, trying to get his way, he ended up being traded to a team that he doesn't really want to play for. He's going to play for a team that is a 8-8 team at best, that will probably not make the playoffs. He will be playing for a bad team, which will remind him how good he had it in Green Bay and hopefully it will make him feel like it wasn't worth coming back and that he should have stayed retired. And then, next season, after he voices all of this in the media, he will play his bullshit game again about whether he'll retire or not. And we'll all be right back here, sick of all the coverage that he continues to receive for being a little baby.

I think I speak for a lot of football fans when I say "Brett, just go away". I don't want to see any more of his fake celebrations when he throws a TD, where he pretends to run around like a little kid because he's so excited. What a bunch of crap. Its so fake. I don't want to hear any more Madden orgasms over how much he loves how Favre plays the game, how he plays the right way, how he's the greatest ever. And most of all, I don't want to see or hear or read any more coverage of "Favre considers retirement" and "Favre retires" and "Favre considers return", and "Favre says he's not wanted" and "Favre breaks a nail" and "Favre has a slumber party with John Madden and all of ESPN". Seriously, I'm done. But of course, we're going to have to spend this entire season following his every move with a new team. And I think that I'm going to wear out the mute button on my remote.

Brett, seriously, I hope you tear your ACL. That's the only way we can finally be rid of you forever.