Big Tuna Joke of the Day

Partially because it was requested and partially because it just happened yesterday, I thought I would take a small break from my baseball-related posts and tell another Big Tuna story. This will be a fairly short post, but don't worry, I have something planned for next week. The Big Tuna is leaving on vacation next Tuesday for three whole weeks, so I thought I would have a send-off post to celebrate. So, be sure to tune in next week for that.

In my introduction to the Big Tuna, I mentioned that he likes to re-tell the same, not funny jokes all the time. He thinks that he's a real comedian, but really, all he ever gets is pity laughs. In any case, one of the most annoying things about a lot of his jokes is that they rely on "audience participation". The "rock" joke I mentioned last time is a great example. The joke is initiated by him asking you a question or making a comment in your direction (e.g. "So how big was the rock?"). At this point, the "audience" is required to respond in an appropriate way in order for the joke to be completed (e.g. "What rock?"). Finally, after the response from the "audience", he hits you with the punchline (e.g. "The rock you used to iron that shirt"). A pretty high percentage of the Big Tuna's jokes follow this pattern.

True to form, the Big Tuna dropped another one of his favorite jokes of this type on us yesterday. This particular joke needs to be put into context for you. In order to tell the joke in the office, it must be told on a weekday, other than Friday. Thursday being the ideal day. The person telling the joke or the person listening to the joke must be leaving for the day. Alright, with that in mind, the joke goes like this:

Big Tuna: OK, see you guys on Monday.
Audience: Oh, you're not here tomorrow?
Big Tuna: No, I'm here tomorrow, but I'll see you on Monday too.
Audience: (laughing so hard that milk comes out of everybody's nose at once)

Like all of them, this is a joke that I and everybody else in the office has heard many times. So, yesterday, three of us were standing around talking when the Big Tuna comes by on his way out the door. After chatting with us for a few minutes, he attempts to initiate this joke with the "OK, see you guys on Monday" line. The thing is, all of us have heard it so many times (and don't want to hear it again) that none of us provide the "audience participation" part. So, what ends up happening is there is about 15 seconds of awkward silence as the Big Tuna waits for someone to take the bait. But nobody does. So, he's forced to just walk away, without completing his joke.

The funny part is that you can just tell that he is furious that nobody took the bait. He needs to be the funny guy, so if nobody bites or nobody laughs at his stupid jokes, he gets super offended. Its awesome. He acts like a 4 year old. We're so cruel. Although, sometimes, to "save face", even if nobody takes the bait and does the "audience participation" part, he still tells the punchline, which is equally funny, because the joke is incomplete and doesn't really make any sense without the "audience participation" part. And then there are the times where he explains to you that you're supposed to say "Oh, you're not going to be here tomorrow", like we don't realize it after hearing the same joke a thousand times. Good times.

Ok, this post ended up a bit longer than I expected. But I will leave you with another classic Big Tuna joke that I just thought of. This one comes up on a day where you didn't shave and have some stubble.

Big Tuna: Did you hear that the strike is over?
Audience: What strike is that?
Big Tuna: The Gillette strike. You'll be able to shave now.

Absolute hilarity.